


Lust for Life

by dancing_in_the_rain



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Post Season 2, mentions of mon-ugly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 12:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12321171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancing_in_the_rain/pseuds/dancing_in_the_rain
Summary: "She doesn't need us for anything. She just needs our genetic materials, Daxamites can generate a child using just locks of hair...""Which I collected while you slept."Lena shuddered at the memory, she felt sick. This was wrong on so many levels.or Kara, Lena and the rest of the gang face all the repercussions of the Daxamite invasion and try to move forward in life. But with CADMUS hanging over the city, the shadow of danger and destruction is ever present.





	Lust for Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, just wanted to get this story out there before I caught wind of the shitstorm which is most likely going to be season 3. Not sure how frequent updates are going to be as I'm heading into end of year exams. I hope you enjoy let me know what you think, you can find me on tumblr as super--luthor

“Finally.”

The device went off.

With Supergirl in control of the detonation, they only had two sharp beeps as the device whirred to life before it exploded releasing lead into the atmosphere. At the two sounds Lena hit the deck pulling Winn with her, Lillian copying them moments before the room rocked and the windows shattered, lead being expelled in every direction.

After a few long moments the room cleared of the lead cloud and everyone got up.

“It’s no use Mother.” Lena drawled as she watched Lillian all but rush towards the device. No doubt in her mind that she still wanted to use it for its original purpose of ridding the world of Kryptonians.

“I don’t understand.” Lillian spoke calmly picking up the device.

“Whilst rebuilding it I made sure it would only work once.” Lena explained smugly.

Lillian scoffed placing the device back on Lena’s desk. “Of course, you would.”

“Right, well, I’m just going to go.” Winn spoke awkwardly for the first time since the detonation.

Lena watched Winn pack up the few tools he brought and leave and soon her Mother did as well with not so much as a goodbye. Lena’s gaze went to the city behind her and the ships in the sky as they began to fly away. She cautiously stepped out onto her balcony, not daring to go too close to the edge as the railing had been partially destroyed.

The device had worked.

It had worked. Which meant she’d sent her best friends boyfriend away, permanently. Her best friend who also happened to be Supergirl.

If she was being honest Lena had definitely suspected it in the beginning, and every now and again the thoughts would resurface when Kara slipped up. But that afternoon before she had begun working on the device had sealed the decision that her best friend and the city’s heroine were one and the same. The way Supergirl had looked at her Mother when she questioned if Supergirl knew of Kara’s relationship to Mon-el. It set something off and it was like Lena’s world just like the city was starting to crumble. Everything finally made sense. True to the Luthor name Lena composed herself in a matter of seconds, and pushed the thoughts of her best friend to the back of her mind, but the thought that she wasn’t trustworthy stayed at the forefront.

The sky was finally clear of Daxamite ships.

Lena stayed out on the balcony for god knows how long. The sun had started to set on the damaged city and the only thought running through Lena’s mind was that she caused this. So caught up in the need for validation and praise from Rhea she completely missed the negative possibilities creating the portal would include. If only she’d seen Rhea’s malicious intent, the city wouldn’t be smoking after a battle with an army of aliens. Lena was almost physically sick when she thought about all the lives that might have been lost due to her decisions. It felt like hours but Lena finally left the balcony unable to look out on the city anymore.

The drive to her apartment was cut short. Debry covered the streets, so Lena ended up walking. Walking among the mess she helped to create. Head hung low the normal 20-minute walk took nearly an hour, and only in the comfort of her apartment did Lena let the full weight of the past 2 days come crashing down. It suffocated her.

After locking her door behind her, Lena sank to the floor. Knees tight against her chest as she curled in on herself. Her mind running a mile a minute it made her feel numb. If only this, if only that. What if she’d realised sooner? How badly damaged is the rest of the city? Ho-How many people died? Lena let out a strangled gasp as her whole body shuddered. Everything was too much. She sat there her back against the door as tears rolled down her cheeks. The thought her mind would bring her back to was that this was all her fault. She hated it. Hated herself. Hated how the curse of her last name always found a way out of the shadows she’d desperately been trying to escape from. Once a Luthor always a damn Luthor. And the only person who didn’t see her as just another Luthor probably never wanted to see her again. Kara. Poor sweet Kara. Who now by her doing was boyfriendless. Granted Lena never really saw the appeal in Mike/Mon-el but he made her happy (to a certain degree). And knowing that she was the cause of taking away some of her best friend’s happiness made her own heart ache.

Lena sat on the ground until her tears slowed and she felt her stomach rumble, alerting her that it had been more than a solid 24 hours since she had had something decent to eat. Lena almost laughed at the sound her stomach made it was absurd. She decided then she needed to move, even if it was to wallow in a different place. Her movements were slow as Lena pushed herself off the floor, her body feeling the full weight of the exhaustion. Walking over to the kitchen she grabbed a piece of fruit from the bowl and forced herself to eat it before heading for the shower.

No matter how hot she had the temperature of the water or how hard she scrubbed, Lena could still feel the dresses the Daxamites put her in. She felt disgusting. The thought alone that someone had dressed her whilst she was unconscious was enough to make her shudder. It was probably the longest shower Lena had ever had as it was well before an hour before she even thought about getting out.

Once out and dressed in pyjamas Lena found some leftovers in the fridge from a few days ago. After having a smell of them and deciding that food poisoning couldn’t be worse than what she already felt like she reheated the food in the microwave. Standing at the kitchen bench Lena picked at the food, actually eating was harder than she thought it would be. She didn’t realise she’d been crying again until she touched her cheek.

Looking over at her liquor cabinet Lena could practically hear the alcohol calling her name. But she knew that alcohol was an easy way out, a way to momentarily forget. Lena didn’t deserve to forget. In her mind she deserved all the pain she felt, she wasn’t going to turn to alcohol for help. Not even for a nightcap, she knew one sip would turn into a bottle. So staring at the cabinet was going to have to do.

Closing her eyes for a brief moment Lena tried to think about the last time she slept. Being unconscious doesn’t count, right? Slowly Lena cleaned up the leftovers, she hadn’t eaten much but enough to settle her stomach. Part of her hoped she’d have more of an appetite tomorrow, the rest of her couldn’t care less. Eventually Lena made it to her bedroom and got into bed, her body running on autopilot through her nightly routines. She hoped to fall asleep quickly, but she’d never been that lucky. So here she was, mentally and physically exhausted, lying awake staring up at the ceiling.

This was it Lena thought, finally she’s falling asleep because this has to be a dream. Soft colours danced across her ceiling. Blues, greens and purples reminding her of something like Aurora Borealis. Her own private light show. It wasn’t until Lena blinked properly that she realised she was still awake and this was definitely not a dream. The realisation caused her to tense up, something was very wrong. What or who was causing these gentle glows to appear in her room. The thought crossed her mind that it was someone here to kill her, lulling her into a sense of security with the lights only to jump out of a hiding at any moment. The thought of food poisoning also managed to filter through her mind, quickly accompanied by the thought that she had never read anywhere or heard anything about food poisoning causing hallucinations.

The lights that covered the whole ceiling started to move together, localising into a circle at the end of Lena’s bed. Finally forcing herself to move Lena cautiously sat up, not believing her eyes as the lights got brighter and something began to materialize. Surely this is a dream she thought, or maybe exhaustion induced hallucinations. Out of everything that Lena thought was happening nothing could have prepared her for what actually was, and how it was going to change her life forever.

 

* * *

 

With a final look at Alex, Kara took off from the balcony of the DEO. She had spent most of the afternoon helping around the city. Putting out fires, helping people trapped in rubble and clearing streets, anything to keep herself occupied and her thoughts far away from what she had just done. She felt empty. Flying through the air with no destination in mind Kara allowed herself to break. She could only handle staying strong to keep up an appearance for so long before it became too much. So she flew, flew through the air as tears rushed down her cheeks. Reaching the outer limits of the city she was no longer flying she was falling, falling fast. When she hit the desert floor she let out a scream of frustration and anger, as she curled up into a ball in the shallow crater impact she created. Her screams gradually turned into sobs as she gave in to everything she’d been holding back. The broken sobs formed around pain soon turned to those of anger. Anger at Rhea for not honouring their fight, anger at all the Daxamites that tore through the city, anger at Lena for starting and finishing this mess and anger at herself for not being strong enough to let Mon-el go the first time Rhea had asked. She may not have been able to avoid heart ache but it would’ve saved the city from semi destruction. She couldn’t believe he was gone, just like that. Gone in the very pod that brought him here, how sickeningly ironic.

Hours went by and Kara stayed curled up in the dirt. Eyes drying until she would chance a look up at the clear night only to have them fill up with tears again, knowing he was out there somewhere alone. She felt sick, sick, angry, distraught and above everything she felt done. Just so done with everything. It was clear to her now that the universe never wanted her to be fully happy, complete in a sense. It was just too much for the last daughter of Krypton to ask for. Defeated Kara slowly rose from the ground and swiping at her eyes gently she kicked off and began a slow flight back to her apartment.

The first thing she noticed when she got home was that Alex had stopped by. The now cold take out that sat on the kitchen bench was accompanied by a note.

 _Please eat, there’s more in the fridge._  
_Call me if you need,_  
_I love you x_  
_\- Alex_

Kara re-read the note a few times, her eyes watering slightly. She wanted Alex there with her, but she knew she wasn’t the only one that wanted her anymore. Alex had Maggie, and she had been serious when she told Alex to never let her go. So she decided she wasn’t going to call Alex, at least not tonight. Looking in the plastic bag Kara found a container of potstickers, as much as she knew she needed it Kara couldn’t bring herself to eat. It wasn’t until she could practically hear Alex’s voice telling her to that she ate half of what was in the container. Packing the bag up she put it in the fridge next to the second bag of take out.

Mustering up the little energy she had Kara went to her room and stripped out of her suit. She had only just got in the shower when she heard her cell phone start to ring from her bedside table. Groaning Kara shut off the hot stream of water with a little more force than necessary. The phone had stopped ringing by the time she had grabbed a towel and left the bathroom, but as she picked it up to see who had rung it began to ring again.

_Caller ID Lena_

A smiling picture of the two women lit up the screen. It was a selfie Kara had taken at the last event Lena had invited her to. She loved the photo and normally got beyond excited when Lena would ring.

“What do you want?” Kara answered the phone, her voice firm and clearly agitated.

Lena didn’t quite know what sort of response she was going to get but hearing Kara’s voice like that left her speechless.

“I need you to come to my apartment, right now.” Lena replied once she found her voice. “And not getting here in two minutes and waiting around until it’s been long enough for a human to get here. I mean fly here. Now.” She added before Kara could interrupted, intentionally letting slip that she knew of her friends alter ego.

Kara’s eyes widened slightly at Lena’s words and found herself using her super speed to get a clean suit on before flying to the Luthor’s apartment. Not having to wait around meant Kara didn’t have any time to speculate what was going on and why Lena needed her. She was effectively flying in blind.

Kara landed on the balcony of Lena’s apartment less than a minute later. Stepping through the sliding doors she found Lena standing in the lounge with a bundle of blanket in her arms.

Lena turned around to face Kara when she heard the door open.

“Lena, why do you have a baby?!”


End file.
